Coils & Curls Blog

Ok - The campaign has begun, again! I am asking that you assist me in an effort to get “MY SONG” on the OPRAH Show & the Tyra Show.
As you know, Oprah and others do not normally honor natural, African-type hair. In the past, they have talked about it as though something is wrong with our “nappily” textured hair. As though we have to perm or weave our hair in order to be “presentable”. Today is the beginning of a new attitude! If you are on board, please follow the easy directions below to contribute to the campaign.
Now, you know that it’ll take more than one letter from each of us, so let’s pack her inbox! I’ll be sending out reminders on a regular to continue the movement every other day, so please be patient with me - THIS IS MY WILDEST DREAM! Help me make it happen! Thanks in advance for your assistance. ~Carole

Step #1: Click on this link to go to Oprah’s website.
Step #2: Copy and Paste the form letter below to send a collective message.
Step #3: Press send… then repeat for Tyra’s show
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Letter to Oprah — Click here for Oprah’s Website
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Dear Oprah,
I am writing to ask that you host a much needed show about honoring natural, African-heritage hair. For too long, women of African decent have been told by society that something is wrong with our natural hair. Wouldn’t you agree that we should do something positive to change that negative perception and the pain resulting from it?

I recently viewed a poetry piece entitled “My Song” by a loctician in Colorado that highlights the real personal torment experienced in this society behind the rejection of natural, African-type hair. I would love it if you would have her on the show to present this piece. Most everyone can relate to some part of this piece and I know it will make a huge impact on your viewers.

Please take a look at it for yourself linked here: http://coilsncurls.com/blog/?p=17
Her name is Carole Pearson (coilsncurls.com, 303-429-9161).

Please, please help us make a serious change in society about beauty and real acceptance.
Warm Regards,
A Natural Hair Supporter
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Letter to Tyra — Click here for Tyra’s Website
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Dear Tyra,
I am writing to ask that you host a much needed show about honoring natural, African-heritage hair. For too long, women of African decent have been told by society that something is wrong with our natural hair. Wouldn’t you agree that we should do something positive to change that negative perception and the pain resulting from it?

I recently viewed a poetry piece entitled “My Song” by a loctician in Colorado that highlights the real personal torment experienced in this society behind the rejection of natural, African-type hair. I would love it if you would have her on the show to present this piece. Most everyone can relate to some part of this piece and I know it will make a huge impact on your viewers.

Please take a look at it for yourself linked here: http://coilsncurls.com/blog/?p=17
Her name is Carole Pearson (coilsncurls.com, 303-429-9161).

Please, please help us make a serious change in society about beauty and real acceptance.
Warm Regards,
A Natural Hair Supporter

This morning, a new client from Albuquerque, NM called and left one of the most rewarding voice messages I have heard in a long time. Her 4-year old daughter has allowed the chorus of “My Song” to sink into her psyche. After hearing her voice and the words that she sang, I began to bawl (naturally) and Chris said, “Carole, if you have made an impact on one little girl about her natural hair… you have left a legacy.”
So, I guess my work is done What a celebration! In the face of all the other messages she will hear over her lifetime about her hair, she has already connected to a healthy phrase to get her through. Listen to her voice and tell me you aren’t moved by what this could mean for her self-esteem later in life. Click here to listen.

Thank you SheRah. Your daughter’s voice this morning was a real gift.

(Related Post: My Song - Live Performance)

Some of you are going to be upset at this one… but I am glad Beyonce didn’t get nominated for the Oscar. YES, I SAID IT! I am glad this year’s Academy Award is not going to be all about her. She is a singer who is still trying to make the transition to an actor. Her work is speaking for itself - good, but not great. Sorry Chica, but you weren’t the best actor out there this year. Go back and work on the craft just a little more.

Speaking of that, whatever happened to working for something anyway? Practicing at something until you are good enough to first do it, and then be awarded for doing it well? We are just handing out awards to people left and right for being the “cutest one at the ball” and that is getting really old.

In an age where Paris Hilton is famous for her DNA and nothing else, enough is enough! When it comes to acting… granted Beyonce is attractive - So what! Granted, she can sing - So what! I’ll even give her a little acting credit as well - she is okay - but she is not the best, not even close, and that is what an Oscar is about. The cream of the crop… not the cutest, most popular belle at the ball.

It is a true anomaly when a beginner actor can work on a movie and hit a home run. That is a rare feat. In my opinion Jennifer Hudson did just that. And I am so glad that her achievement is not going to be watered down by Beyonce’s hair weave.

Well done Jennifer. I don’t know that she should win the Oscar, but on that performance she deserves the recognition of a nomination.
Feel me?

(PS - I am not even going to begin to talk about that 10-year-old from the movie “Little Miss Sunshine”. Let me sum up - Cute, but NOT OSCAR WORTHY!)

If you haven’t seen this yet, please take 7 minutes to watch how powerfully the point is made. For me, the hardest part to watch is when one of the little girls, after declaring the that black doll is “bad”, was asked, “what doll looks like her”? The way she hesitates to push the black doll forward, and the look of almost shame at the acknowledgement of what the whole things means is almost unbearable. Here is the video.

Click on this link and watch the news clip about the documentary. “A young student’s documentary leaving audiences stunned Kiri Davis is a young filmmaker whose high school documentary has left audiences at film festivals across the country stunned — and has re-ignited a powerful debate over race.”

(Thank you Marcia for reminding me of this amazing video!)

Monica, one of my friends, who happens to also be a client, was here for her monthly appointment. We got to talkin’, as friends do, and the time kept tick-tickin’ on by. Next thing we heard was the “ding-dong” of the doorbell, notifying me of my next appointment. It was a consultation which usually takes around an hour. I wasn’t finished retightening Monica’s beautiful locks. But, being the gracious friend that she is, she said, “Carole, go ahead and do the consultation. I am going to run up to the store really quick and when I come back, you can finish my hair.” I was so grateful as I began helping her to wrap up in her scarf, hat and puffy coat. She was buried in that get-up, but if you reside in Colorado right now you know that the weather has been well below normal standards and most of us abandon fashion in fear of frost-bite! In that vain, Monica went out into the world looking like the marshmallow-man, completely encased in clothing. You could see eyes and that’s about it. I am making a big deal about her appearance because the story relies on you having a good visual in your brain of her presentation. Do you have it? Ok…

Shortly after Monica’s return, she shared this story with me:
When I went to the store so that you could finish your consult on Saturday, something interesting happened to me. As you know, I had on my pink hat so all my hair was completely covered. When I walked in, I felt invisible. No on was looking at me. Whenever I go out with my natural hair I get comments about it or at least looks that last a tiny bit longer than necessary - all hair related. But this time, since my hair was covered, no one was looking. It was really weird to have an invisible feeling. Is this crazy? Is it vain? I just wanted to yank my hat off and yell out, ‘Hello! Don’t you see my beautiful hair!?!?’ I keep thinking about that song by India Arie, ‘I am not my hair’ and I think, it is not ALL I am - but it has become a large part of who I am now, and the reaction that I am becoming used to expecting from others. Has any one else said anything about this on their journey?

Well, Monica, yes I have heard something similar from others. It is so funny how we have to build up a wall of “protection” after we go natural because we know that we are going to get looks of judgement from others - especially Sistahs! But then, after our hair (particularly locks) after they start to mature and start looking AWESOME (for lack of a better word) we start getting kudos from people and looks of approval, sometimes even looks of envy and we start anticipating that reaction from others. In a way, that wall of protection has now turned into a wall of pride - Pride in the our naturalness. From there, that pride can turn into just plain vanity! Be cautious of that. (Reference my personal story about vanity entitled “Yes, they’re Sisterlocks.”)

Moral of the story: Stay grounded. There is so much that goes into the make-up of your essence. It is bigger than your hair. If you find that you are becoming completely wrapped up in your hair… first smile and thank God that you have found a way to be happy at your reflection in the mirror and that you are no longer hating your unique kinky-textured hair (there are so many women of African heritage who still do not find beauty in their natural state.) But then put a check on that. It is never a good idea to be completely wrapped up in the physical. Your hair is no longer an “issue” - be thankful you can cross that off your list. Now, move on to other things that need “fixin’” We all have items to work on in character development.

*Can you relate to Monica? Add your experience below! (Thanks Monica for letting me share your story with others.)

This is a great opportunity for a junior or senior who is majoring in journalism:
What: Free Journalism Internship
Who: Princeton University
Due: Application Due February 15th

This is a 10-day all-expenses-paid summer journalism program held in August at Princeton University for students from underresourced financial backgrounds. All application materials & information are available at: http://www.princeton.edu/~sjp.

Applicants must meet the following qualifications:
1) You must be entering your junior or senior year of high school in fall 2007.
2) You must have at least a 3.0 grade point average (out of 4.0).
3) You must have demonstrated an interest in journalism.
4) The combined income of your custodial parent(s) / guardian(s) plus child support payments, if any, must not exceed $45,000.

Here’s the deal I made with God. “If I share this experience with others… please don’t ever let “me” happen to “me” again!” He hasn’t clearly responded yet… but I am just going to move forward in the “deal” as if we have a contract. It won’t stand up in court… but it will definitely show my intent to honor my side of the commitment. Love ya, God. Here’s the story…

So, at the time I had my locks for about 1.5 years. I was getting completely swelled up in the head about my hair. It was growing, it was natural and healthy, and there was just no talkin’ to me. I was too cute for myself. (I’m being brutally honest here - so hear my heart on this.) I was a hot mess! There is no way around it. I got to a place that I expected at least one compliment a day. If I didn’t get one, I thought, “Dang, what is wrong with people. Don’t they see how cute I look? It must be their own personal insecurities that they can’t even give me a compliment.” (See what I mean? A HOT MESS!) I wish I could say it was someone else… but it was me.

So, anyway, I was out to lunch at Chilli’s with my permed-out girlfriends, who were not yet comfortable with their natural hair. You know I was working on them, but they had not yet come around. It was funny when we ordered our lunch, the server said to me, “I love your hair.” I looked at my friends with a smile and a bat of the eye and responded, “Thank you - its natural.” (Why was that necessary? I’m tellin’ you, I had issues! Seriously! Anyway… back to the story…)

So, we ate and talked, and toward the end of the meal I excused myself to use the bathroom. As with many restaurants, the bathroom is always in the back of the building, so I had to walk all the way through the place and I noticed people looking. Still wrapped up in myself, I passed by a table where two Sistahs with short, permed hair were leaned over trying to whisper to each other. I could only make out one word that they said, “Sisterlocks”. I smiled to myself and kept walking, thinking, “Yep, they are talking about my hair.” So, I twisted my head for no other reason than to make my long, locks bounce a little. Again, I was trying to be cute.

At that point, I am sure God was thinkin’, “I better nip this in the bud - RIGHT NOW!” Well, I went to the bathroom with no incident. I checked myself in the mirror as I left and everything looked just right. I thought to myself that maybe those girls would ask me about my hair and then it would be another excuse to talk about how great my Sisterlocks have been since day one! I looked for them as I was coming out of the restroom and found, to my disappointment, that no one was at their table. I guessed that they had left, and now I would have to find some other excuse to talk about my hair. As I was heading back to my table, I saw, out of the corner of my eyes one of those two ladies walking up behind me. She tapped me on the back of my right shoulder and said, “Excuse me…”

I immediately thought, “SHE’S GOING TO ASK ME ABOUT MY HAIR!” Before I could even stop myself, I turned around, flicking my hair up with my right hand, and with my arm still extended into the air I said, “Yes, they’re Sisterlocks.” She looked at me funny and said, “Ummm, you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.” Then she walked away.

I was standing there in the aisle of the restaurant with a long line of toilet paper hanging from the heal of my shoe and all I could do was laugh at myself. I looked up (arm still extended, mind you) and said, “Thanks God. You said, ‘pride cometh before a fall.’” I was just glad that my “fall” wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

So again, in honor of my commitment to God, PLEASE listen and learn from my mistake. Try not to get completely wrapped up in your new, beautiful head of natural hair. In this society, the longer and fuller it grows the more humble we all need to become.

I have a few people in my life who have been affected by this issue…

Mastectomy Hospital Bill in Congress
If you know anyone who has had a mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards. Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure. Let’s give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for 2 days after surgery.

It takes 2 seconds to do this and is very important…please take the time and do it really quick!
Breast Cancer Hospitalization Bill - Important legislation for all women.

There’s a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It’s about eliminating the “drive-through mastectomy” where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.

Lifetime Television has put this bill on their web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on. PLEASE Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below. You need not give more than your name and zip code number: http://www.lifetimetv.com/health/breast_mastectomy_pledge.html

This takes about 2 seconds. PLEASE PASS THIS ON to your friends and family. THANKS.

Chris & I were in a car accident! OMG! But we are both ok. Thank the Lord!
Now, how do I begin this story…
Well, first off, Chris and I love the mountains and we planned since last week to head up there this Sunday morning. Weather reports warned to expect snow on Saturday - and it snowed. So, we thought we were good for a go on Sunday morning (this morning.) Saturday night I had a dream that gave me pause about the trip. I asked Chris whether he still thought we should head up and he said “yes” so I chose not to share the dream with him. We cleaned up, ate, packed up and headed out. As we pulled out of the drive, I checked for my wallet and found that I had forgotten it. I asked Chris to pull back into the driveway so that I could go in and look for it. As he pulled back in, we sort of slipped around on the snow in the driveway, that reminded me of my dream and after I returned to the car I thought I should share it with Chris before we started up the mountain.
We were pulling out onto the freeway (I-70) in our Honda Civic, driving in the left-hand lane when I started the story. And y’all know how I take my time telling a good story (this one included) Anyhoo, the dream went like this:

Chris and I were near the San Andreas fault line on vacation. There were earthquake rumblings and experts were saying that THE BIG ONE was going to happen within a few days. Well, natives of the state were hesitant saying that they hear this kind of thing all of the time and that we shouldn’t be nervous; but for some reason I still was. So, I told Chris (in the dream) “We need to leave now. We should not be here. Let’s not tempt fate.” He was not convinced for 2 more days. Only after we got stuck on an elevator during a small quake did he agree that we should pack up and go home. But by then, the highways were packed with people and we ended up getting stuck there and died when THE BIG ONE hit. (End of Dream.)

(Back in the car…) Chris says, “So, its MY fault we died in the quake?” I said, “Yes. You wouldn’t listen to me. I was warning you of danger and if you had listened we would have made it out of there before THE BIG ONE hit.” He said, “Of course it would be MY fault!!” We both started laughing. “Even in your dreams its MY fault.” He said with a smile. “So, why are you telling me this? Are you saying we should not be out here on these roads in this weather?” I replied, “Well I don’t know exactly. One may have nothing to do with the other. But I am saying that the lesson of my dream was that we ’should not tempt fate.’” Just then, a pickup truck ahead of us in the center lane started to slip into the far right-hand lane. I pointed to it and said, “See! And that’s a truck! A truck, and its slipping around on these roads. Do you think we should just turn back?” As I was asking the question, that very same truck bounced off of the railing on the right-hand said of the road and slid over 4 lanes of traffic right in front of us. I said, “We’re going to hit him.” I looked over to make sure Chris had his belt on. Then I looked back and said again, “We’re going to hit him.” And we did. We t-boned the truck. The airbags deployed as they were suppose to function, and our seat-belts functioned as they were suppose to function. Shortly afterward as we were waiting for the police, another accident happened just a few yards from us! I turned to Chris and I said, “Do you see! Its just like my dream! We were not suppose to tempt fate!” Chris smiled looking back at me and said, “Yeah, great job Carole! Next time, why don’t you use your powers for good and go pick some lottery numbers or something.” I decided to shut up at that point. Because I knew this would be a story I could repeat to him for DECADES to come!!! Lucky Chris, huh!

Needless to say, we are both ok and loving each other back at home - glad to be alive! Thank the Lord! But check out the pictures below… I can’t believe that is our car!

I am beside myself with joy after surviving my first public performance of “My Song”. Thank you so very much to everyone who was able to come out and support me in the effort. My prayer was answered as I looked out into the audience to find over 30 personal invitees present and smiling back at me. After sweating profusely, and going to the bathroom about 13 times, I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and began the piece. I was outside of my body for the next 7 minutes; unrestricted, as I shared personal pain, personal truths and personal revelation. By the end, nothing mattered because I knew that the hard part was over. I had stepped completely out of my comfort zone and the healing of my past had already begun!

To those who were unable to attend, and especially for my out-of-state clients, Chris taped the performance and you can find it linked here: My Song - Live at The Speakout

Thank you, thank you again and again for your tremendous support! Feel free to comment about your personal hair story below. And remember to share this with people who you think may find it beneficial on their own natural hair journey. Carole

(Related Post: My Song - The Ripple Effect)