Coils & Curls Blog

Friends,
On November 1, 2007, I will be facilitating a book club discussion on the following book:

Caucasia (by Danzy Senna)
Amazon.com Review: A young girl learns some difficult lessons in Danzy Senna’s debut novel Caucasia. Growing up in a biracial family in 1970s Boston, Birdie has seen her family disintegrate due to the increasing racial tensions. Her father and older sister move to Brazil, where they hope to find true racial equality, while Birdie and her mother drift through the country, eventually adopting new identities (Sheila and Jesse Goldman) and settling in a small New Hampshire town.
Birdie/Jesse tries to find her niche in this new world of eye shadow and gossip and boys, but she also wants to remain true to herself and find a common ground between her white and black heritage. She sets out to find her sister and reconnect with that part of her that has been lost for so long; the search takes her far from the settled, safe life she had in New Hampshire to a far more ambiguous, and unsettled, existence, one in which her own definitions of herself become muddled, and her search for her sister leads ultimately to a search for her own true identity.

I was asked by the YWCA of Boulder, CO to come in as a guest facilitator and help discussion around this book club read in the theme of “Race in America”. The goal of the YWCA is to help end all racism in America and a diverse book club is one of the steps that they are taking to open eyes and opinions. The group is made up of predominately white women, which is understandable because that is the primary population of Boulder, CO. So, I am glad they are making these steps and I am happy to support the effort.

I doubt, however, that they are ready for what I am bringing to the table. ☺

After discussion with a few of the board members, the language about the primary biracial character in this book is around her black DNA… not her white DNA. So, I am bringing the fullness of her background to the forefront … with passion!

What are your thoughts?

For those of you in CO, please come and support the effort.
Details: Thursday, November 1st from 5:30 - 7:00 pm at the Boulder Public Library Arapahoe meeting room. Food will be provided.

This is a must see… I found myself dancing along with a bird!
What about you?
Check it out

Many of you many have heard about this… but let’s start the discussion:

Please view this newscast and then let me know what you think about the term “nappy-head” being used this way.

I am on the Oprah Show e-list, which means, every morning I receive an email about her upcoming shows. The other morning, I opened my email to find the attached show announcement:

“10/12/07 FRIDAY’S SHOW: Transgender Families
Meet transgender individuals who had the courage to say “this is who I am.” Find out what happens in a family when dad becomes a woman. A discussion with the new American family Oprah wanted to meet.”

The reason why this hit me so strongly is due to recent events with my company. As many of you know, Coils & Curls just put on a most AMAZING Natural Hair Celebration! (More on that in another post.) The purpose of this event was to embrace what God gave us… nappy, kinky hair. (See where I am going with this.)

We, in the natural hair movement believe that God made NO mistake when he created us with kinky-textured hair. But after watching the Oprah show, I am left with a question: can we, in one breath say, “Yes, I agree with you, in all of the universe and in the nature on this planet, God made a mistake and you were suppose to be a different sex.” Then in the next breath say, “But God DID NOT make a mistake when it comes to something as external as your nappy hair. You don’t need to perm it and make it something its not. Embrace your natural texture!”

Now, I know that one change costs over $150,000, where as the other change can cost only $35 bucks at your local grocery store. But the core of both issues is succinct. What is the truth? Can God make a mistake on his creation?

Here’s another example: I know of a child who was born black and when she was 5, she said she wished she had been born white. Now, at 15 she says she is a white woman trapped in a black woman’s body. I immediately blamed her parents for not empowering her to be who she is; but where is the Oprah show for her? (Tyra did a show on it.) Maybe I should be looking at it differently. If nature can make a mistake in gender, why couldn’t nature make a mistake in race? If we embrace the belief for one, don’t we have to embrace it for all? My desire is to be consistent.

Now, I know this post is full of bias and you probably already know my opinion on the matter. But I want to hear your thoughts.
Talk to me.

Family & Friends, As you know, I am putting on a natural hair show today.
What you don’t know is that I have received negative press in the black community over this flyer:

Just yesterday, someone called me to say, “I run a Nautral Hair group and we are boycotting your event because you have a white girl all hugged up on that brotha in your flier.”
When I told her that it was ME on the flyer and I am multi-ethnic, she said, “Well, why are you trying to show off that you look white? Why not show off your hair?”
When I told her that was MY HAIR in the background of the flyer, she said. “It doesn’t matter. Why are you all hugged up on him? Who is he to you because we don’t need white women all over our men!”
I then told her again that I am multi-ethnic, he is a personal friend of ours, its MY event and my husband took the picture.
She replied, “From a marketing perspective, you are hurting the black women of CO!”

This is straight ugliness and its similar to a few other negative calls we’ve received about this show.
Please pray for us, and the positive impact this event is going to have on our community!

Title of the group: Exploring & Embracing Beauty of Our Natural Hair
Discription: Meet with local black women who choose to wear their hair natural. Gather to commune and support one another in your quest for chemical-free hair! Discuss hair care, maintenance, and the politics of having natural hair. Open to multi-ethnic families who have African heritage children, women & men with ethnic hair, and those who are interested in learning more.

I am hoping to grow the network with ALL TYPES of natural hair. We need more support… and this is one of many ideas!
Tell your friends!

Group: http://naturalhair.meetup.com/40/?gj=sj6

Question of the day….
Why is a woman born in 1975 still singing about growing up and talking about how “Big Girls Don’t Cry”?
Think about it.

Artist Profile
Artist Name: Fergie
Born: 1975
In: Hacienda Heights, CA
Musical Styles: Urban, Pop-Rap

What are your thoughts on this article?
“Why Congolese men rather starve to death than look cheap.”

My opinion is one that may cause ruffles in some feathers…
I think that this attitude is rampant in our community. Americans (particularly African Americans) in general seem to be completely focused on what they wear on the outside, thinking it relates to the type of person they are on the inside.
I just watched a show on VH1 called “Charm School” where the contestants were asked to donate two bags worth of their belongings to the under privileged. One of the ladies put everything she owned in the bags with a complete heart of giving. When they presented their clothes to the Goodwill, the owner of the store said that her clothes had little resell value. He offered her $15 for one of her pairs of boots and she completely FLIPPED out reporting that she sacrificed her rent money to buy those shoes and now he is only going to give her $15?
Then she threw a temper tantrum because she said that by him pricing her clothes so cheaply, that was like he was saying her “entire being” was worthless. But the truth is… EVERYTHING loses value after you take it off the rack. Go buy a car or a computer and you will see this example BIG TIME!

But this is the attitude I fear we are creating in our children, communities, and nation. I truly believed her when she said that she equated the value of her clothes to the value of herself. I see it everyday. I struggle with it, because it used to be a part of my life. Aside from judging other people, I judged myself about what I wore. I had to make sure that everything was brand named and ironed just right (except for those 3-5 years in the 90’s when it was COOL to wear Thrift Store clothes). It was exhausting, trying to create the unattainable perfect look. I had to look in the mirror and really see who I was trying to impress. I was working to buy clothes so that every random person on the street would be impressed by it. What is that about? WHO CARES about EVERYONE else’s opinion! I should only care about MY opinion. If I see my value in the assessment of everyone else’s eyes, then I am the one with the problem and no amount of expensive clothing is going to change that.

In the article above, I am so sorry to see the poorest of the poor sacrifice food for a brand name outfit. But I see so many people I care about here in the states doing the very same thing… just on a different level. I am glad I’m no longer a part of that lifestyle. Just last week, a friend (who is still living in that judgement) told me, “Ya know, I love you girl… but you need to iron them jeans and get some new kicks.” I looked down at my baggy jeans and comfortable Crocks and said, “Why?” She started to explain but all I heard was the first part of her reasoning.. she said, “Because people are going to think…” Then I tuned out and smiled… because I knew that whatever she was saying about what other “people were going to think”… I truly didn’t care.
I used to care… but now, all I can say is it feels good to be free of that Matrix of Materialism.
~Carole

What are your thoughts on the article linked above? Can you see a correlation in our culture? Are you living in the Matrix of Materialism?

This is fun!
When you see advertisements on TV for food… have you ever been upset that they never look the way they are advertised?
I know I have! Here is a website that shows the pictures back-to-back.
Enjoy!

Oprah just had a TOWN MEETING on her show today around the fallout of the “Imus Comment”. She said she wanted to do more shows to talk about “what next”.
I think we need to remind her that honoring natural hair MUST be a part of the change we make in our perception of beauty for black women.
Please go to the Oprah & Tyra Campaign! post and send your note today.
The more often you can send them, the better.
NOW IS THE TIME TO MAKE THIS CHANGE!
Thanks in advance.